Hi boggled,
My son is also an an addict---pot, alcohol, etc. He's 18 and been to rehab 5 or 6 times, I've lost count. he is still actively using even though it means he will go to jail. He has broken his probation and is now waiting for a revoking. I have kicked him out and let him back in several times. It is such a hard thing to do, but it is the best thing.
My son also stole from me, and who knows how much money I have soaked into his recovery. This has been going on since he was 14, shortly after my divorce.
You have to decide what is right to do for you, not him. I know that my own health has suffered (weight gain, blood pressure, stress) and I'm much better when he is gone, even though the heart ache is hard. Nothing is easy, but that doesn't make it impossible.
I'm sorry for your confusion and pain. I can relate. You are not alone. We will all be here for you. Keep posting, reading and praying.
krhea