Originally Posted by
JPat 
i always seem to think i can do this alone - that my willpower is great enough, and it's obviously not. i don't have a program
Yeah I operated for many years on my willpower and never could find a solution to quit drinking.
I agree with what Matt shared, in recovery we've got a box full of tools to use, how about choosing some that will work for you?
AA works for me, over the years I've added CoDA, service work, this site, and the 12 Steps to my toolkit. So far they've served me well as long as I continue to use them on a daily basis.
There's no need to suffer, I hope you find something that works for you.