boggled,
Welcome to SR. This forum, one Nar-Anon meeting, one Alanon meeting and daily readings have kept me sane.
I am the mother of a 27 yr old AS (addict son.) I am new to "detaching with love" trying my best at it and feeling good about it. I never thought I could detach a few months ago. I thought I would go crazy, I questioned where my son would lay his head at night, what he would eat, etc. He's found places to stay (even though we had many screaming phone calls about it in the beginning) and amazingly still does not have a FT job. Which leads me to believe that everything I was worrying about, stressing about, making myself crazy over is just not that important to him. So why should it be to me???
boggled, hang in there and if possible, find some sort of meeting to attend for you.