Hi Jarkness,
I couldn't imagine a life without alcohol when I was drinking. I was suffering from Major depression, on antidepressants, spaced out of my mind a recluse in my house and on welfare. They were truly terrible times.
Stop the booze and get active, make some plans and start working towards your goals. I'm now completely independent now, I'm running a successful business from home and there isn't much that I want for.
This would not be the case if I was still drinking!
Give up the booze and start living your life and achieving your dreams, you'll be amazed at what you are capable of.
Good luck
Rob