Hi Smiley,
Welcome to SR. You've found a great place for love and support, so please keep coming around.
I agree with Ann. It seems like you are getting nothing from this relationship except pain and anguish. And no one has to settle to live like that.
What I think you're seeing in your husband is a "dry drunk"...he isn't using but he isn't recovering so he's totally miserable. Nothing will change for him unless he decides he wants better for his life.
And so it is the same for you. Ask yourself is this the way you want to live the rest of your life? I know it's hard to take a good look at our lives and accept (and realize) what is really going on. The way I learned to do that is by attending Al Anon meetings. What I learned (and continue to learn because I go to 2 meetings a week) is that there is a better way for me to handle my life even if I have addiction around me.
Please try to find a meeting in your area. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the love and support you can receive face to face from folks at the meeting. And please keep coming back here. There are great folks here who are working their recovery program with great success and are enjoying good lives despite their loved one's addiction.
Hugs and prayers,
Hangin' In