I pretty much knew I always drank too much too often, but it took 32 years for the realization to hit home.
I had been attending Al-Anon meetings because my alcoholic husband had joined AA after we separated. In addition, I went to some AA meetings and was identifying somewhat with the speakers, so I decided to try to quit drinking. After the meetings, we used to stop at a diner for coffee. Sitting around the table one night, one of the group was describing a recent trip to Europe. A life-long dream had always been to travel through Europe...but, the thought occurred to me, "How can you travel through Ireland without drinking beer, Italy without drinking wine, France without drinking brandy?" I started to sob and said, "I should be feeling better since I quit drinking, but I'm feeling worse." All eyes turned to me as my nephew (a recovering alcoholic) asked, "How long has it been?" They realized I was going through withdrawal and got me into detox. That was twenty-eight years ago...and, I did take two trips to Europe in '93 and '96...sober!