so....many of you know - I'm having some troubles walking at the moment (nothing further on that btw - the wheels of the public health system turn slowly)
It's getting so even getting the bus is getting hard - but I heard of a great scheme for ppl like me - if you fulfill the criteria, the gov't will subsidise part of taxi fares - great! All I need is my doctor to fill out a form.....
She won't do it.
She wants some documentation, some diagnosis of my cerebral palsy....
I asked her seeing as she was herself a *doctor*? um...maybe she might make the diagnosis herself? but no.
She's only seen me twice - LMAO and hey fair enough, I might have been faking the CP for 40 years just to get cheap taxi fares....
So sure...I'll go to another doctor...even travel back to my old doctor if I have to - if they're still practising. The taxi fare thing isn't even a big deal - it's the ignorance that gets me.
And boy its getting me - it makes me mad. Angry. Furious even.
For the first time ever since I got sober, I woke up today and REALLY (ruh-heally) wanted to get effed up. Not just 'one or two' thank yew very much.
Came with the whole nine yards too - the thoughts, the irritability, the restlessness, the twitches....
but...I didn't and I won't.
I've gained a lot, and learnt even more, in my 16 months.
I'm not giving that up.
I don't want pats and hugs here, or encouragement to stay sober.
I'm steaming - but I'll be ok.
I just wanted to say - I read a post here recently where someone said they never thought about drinking anymore. Great. More power to them.
For others, like myself, it's a struggle sometimes - even after a year and a bit.....but I've learned it's ok to struggle - it keeps me honest, and reminds me what it's like to want to drink, what I'm fighting for, and just how strong, and patient, my enemy is.
but...I won't lose
Thanks for letting me whine
D