his name is Bryon Collins...you can find it by googling the name of the book. I found a copy for around $10 there, Less than I paid!!! It had some great things in it. I have passed on my copy but intend to purchase it again! Hoping it does for you what it did for me. You sound like an intelligent man who has a big heart. You deserve better and I hope you get to the point that you allow it!