Kat, I know exactly how you feel. I have been on opiates for over 20+ years and I decided to quit awhile back and I did and it lasted 80 days and something happened stressful and I thought I could numb myself and then go back to being clean. Numbing ourselves are what we are doing so we dont have to face life on life terms. I am as new as you are, trying to kick the habit again. I can tell you that the physcial withdrawls are not the easiest but the mental part is what you will have to work on. I know I have depression and anxiety so I had to see a doctor so that I could be on the correct meds to help with the mental issues that were the underlying reason I use.
My son has mental problems and he smokes pot and takes his meds also, I am struggling to get him the help that he needs. But wanted to share that you might want to talk to a theapist to why you use and they really can help you thru this. They can give you meds if you have any type of depression or anxiety or whatever else you might need. You are taking a huge step in your life, dont fall off the wrong side of that fence. Your life will get better, I promise you that. Good luck and keep posting here. We all have either been there or are going thru it. Good luck hun!! Stay strong.
Sandi