Originally Posted by
Kat67 
Someone once said in here was "The thoughts in my head, the ones that won't go away, that have been there for so long, the thoughts that hold me back and keep me from growing. Worries, fears, false expectations" is exactly what I'm struggling with and have been for years but even more now because I've been starting to deal with my in feelings that I've been stuffing down.
I'm scared to say goodbye to the stuff that I'm used to doing, as in using and hanging out with unhealthy people.
I'm scared that I can't and won't move on.
This has been the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my whole life.
I want to have a healthy relationships with people and a healthy life,
but on the other hand I want to just get lost and not do the work.
It's as if I'm sitting on the fence and can't decide witch side to fall off of.
i really related to your post and concur that these are normal or common feelings people have in recovery.
alcohol and drugs, really, arent the problem...
the problem....is these thoughts in our heads as you mention.
and for me I want to just get "zapped" or "fixed" so that I can just be ok and these stukpid thoughts can go away
I don't want to do the work though it seems
or when i do the work, it lasts for a few days
then something happens and i use again
I don't have any idea if this is your first attempt or if you've been trying for a while,
no matter I hope you are able to find the light in the center of your heart