maybe if you were honest/open with your wife, started attending aa out in the open, and then invited her to an open meeting? she might see a lot of herself and you in those meetings, and be able to help you in a different way? i'm just thinkin' the denial is holding it all back, that's all. hugs, and when is the baby expected? k
(as a loved one of an alcoholic, i learn a great deal of compassion and acceptance by attending open aa meetings.)