It sounds like a great conflict is raging within you. Only you can decide to drink or not, but it sounds like you want to quit. Don't focus on 'forever', just don't drink one day at a time.
I hope you can make a good decision and start to "really live" instead of living to drink. And when the baby comes you're going to have a lot of demands on your time that may be hard to do if you're still drinking a lot.
All the best to you in arriving at a healthy solution.
:ghug3