besides a lot of frustration
, honestly, when she is around we have a great time. She has been the first women that was willing to live life at the extremes I do when it comes to outdoor activty that I have been with. The reality of it though is as she slips downward we have less and less of that. A sad fact that I am slowly coming to terms with. Still living in the past I guess hoping to get back to where we were (or better). Cognatively, I realize (more and more recently) that I have just an illuison of what once was
Guess I am just a fighter by nature and have trouble quitting until every resource has been utilized and it is futile. Why I don't see this as futile is a mystery still. Maybe I am still fighting the fight for the fight and not the prize.... believe me, a lot of thought has been going into that question. I have also started counseling a while ago to explore that issue. Never had an issue like this until this particular women. There is an emotional dance going on that I have not quite figured out yet - much like any addict I guess, though my addiction is to a person.