Ahhh, I know how tempting it is to communicate with them.
My DH did some "nice" things for me this past weekend. Yet, he had to throw a few zingers in there with them. Like, my best friend was here visiting. My DH was doing the dishes. So he had to make a crack about how much work he does around the house and yet I still complain. What a joke. Put my friend on the spot. Fortunately, my best friend is quite aware of his drunk manipulation and would blast him into next week if he ever really brought up marital responsibilities.
Anyway, he did a few other "nice" things too.... still followed by little zingers which are typically full of resentment. See, my DH was drunk out of his mind a week from last Sunday, so he cruised right through the sorry/ashamed/melancholy/sadsack phase Mon-Wed, then moved straight into justification/minimizing/resentment stage Thursday through Sunday. Several times during phase 2, he wanted to be intimate with me. Okay, he just called me fat about 10 times 8 days ago while drunk.
While I was tempted to explain to him that he doesn't get to dictate how long I take to feel like getting naked again in front of the same person who spits out that I'm fat (slobbering/eyes darting around in his skull/new temp veneers making him look like a rabbit...... "you'rrrrre fhfhfhaatttttt"), I keep having to remind myself that as long as HE chooses to drink, HIS world revolves around HIM. Everything revolves around HIM.
He's sorry.
He's drunk.
He wants sex.
He's mad.
He's resentful.
So any "I" statement I were to make to him are like dropping beads of water on a fire. They get blown away.
It's just useless to really communicate with someone as long as they are consumed with an addiction. The bottle speaks and they listen, and that is all.
I believe this is why everyone here chimes in with "What are you going to do about it?" so often. You should be taking steps, whatever they might be, to gain your sanity. And trying to gain your sanity through explaining things to your DH just isn't going to work.
Don't feel bad if you do it, I end up discussing AH's addiction with him more than I should sometimes also. But I also realize it gets me NOWHERE.