Hello Aim!
Welcome to the recovery forum!!!
First of all... please don't feel you ever need to apologize for venting your feelings here. We WANT you to. We DO want to hear it. Holding a feeling in is compression, and compression gives a substance a certain explosive quality ... it WILL find a means of escape... better to let it out than to risk a blast. And you're right... it doesn't matter how good and well meaning your friends are. If they haven't had to cope with an addict they don't get it.
Even more amazing than an addict placing the blame for their problems outside themselves, is the fact that we sometimes buy it. Perhaps only briefly, but who here hasn't thought "if only I had" or "if only I hadn't" because an addict pointed their shakey finger.
If your brother ever gets a clue, he will come back to YOU. If he doesn't, is he worth the effort anyway?
Pleased to have you here new friend. Let it all hang out!
Hugs,
Smoke