Hi 11d.
First I have to say that I am a recovering alcoholic. I have a 76 days sober and a "normie" husband and two beautiful children. There have been times that have been hard for me as I struggle with relearning how to live sober. I go through much more than my family probably realizes because I was a closet drinker and while my husband knew I drank too much sometimes, no one really saw the extent of my addiction. But I KNOW that they can't relate, that is okay and that is what my therapist, AA sponsor and sober friends in my meetings are for. But truly last night I told my husband that the longer I am sober the more I love and appreciate him. I meant it. I feel that everyday. At 9 months I would think your husband would know what he feels to some degree? Now, I am a woman but I have so much joy today that it comes out. I feel very strongly too that no matter what happens in my day today, it is still a good day because I did not drink.
Second I am a child of an alcoholic. A lot of secrets, hidden bottles, drinking behind closed doors etc. Hmm, wonder where I learned that from? Anyway, though I did not find out until I was older about the alcohol, I always knew something was wrong and I felt so scared and alone because no one would tell me what it was. And here I am...
So my point is that your kids know that something is wrong. The know MUCH more than you think. And by the way, THAT is why your daughter picked up a crumpled piece of paper from the trash and read it. I used to snoop all the time! She is trying to find some answers for the craziness around her. It is time for the talk and IMO, you need to be there as their rock.
I think you are doing wonderfully and have been VERY strong. I am so happy that you are taking care of you. Take care
