Originally Posted by
worriedwife2 
Thanks everyone. I know all of what you say is true.
For some reason, I don't want to lose my house. My credit already is terrible because of the pain pill addiction he had in the past. If I lose this house, I am afraid I will never get another mortgage. Although I make decent money, my bills still outweigh my income alone. We filed bankruptcy last year, but decided to keep the house. It isn't even that nice. If I just left I don't know how that would work. The house isn't even worth what we owe. I don't know how that works if I left.
Thanks again,
Chris
I'm facing a similar situation, in that our house is worth more than we owe, but I love this house and I don't want to leave it. It honestly tears my heart out, but I cannot afford it any longer. They say that among the top stress makers in a person's life, divorce, moving, changing jobs are right up there for wreaking havoc. In many of our cases, we're faced with all three of these problems and more.
It doesn't mean it's impossible, though, and sometimes you just have to break your life down into small steps. I've been working on this lately, and have found it helpful to put it down on paper. I've cried so hard that I can't even see what I'm doing, but I've forced myself to keep typing numbers into my spreadsheet, and descriptions of my goals and desires, so that I stay focused on the steps I need to take to find serenity in my life.
I'll share a few things with you that I know about having an "upside down" house, or a house that's worth less than what you owe. One of the first things you should do is get a comparative market analysis (CMA). Most real estate agents will do this for you for free. Get more than one. And, when the agent is there, ask them what the 3 most important things are that you could do to raise the value of your house. When you have all this information, you'll feel stronger because you're taking steps toward getting your life back, plus you'll be able to use this information positively. You may find out that your house is worth more than you think.
Next, if your house really is upside down, there are real estate investors who are willing to buy your house by simply taking over your mortgage. This may sound contrary to commonsense, but what the investor does is contact your bank and get a "short sale," which means that the bank allows them to buy out your mortgage at a reduced rate. You don't need to go the foreclosure route, as there are even more options than what I've mentioned here. If you get serious, contact me privately and I can put you in touch with investors in your area who can get you out of your situation.
I hope this information is helpful. As hard as it is, sometimes just thinking about practical stuff can help take your mind off the emotional pain.
Hugs!