nolonger:
Thanks for taking time to look more thoroughly....I'll definitely check it out.
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Also, I have to say something about "dry-drunk," which BTW is a fairly common term in this area and seems to be used more as short-hand for a certain type of behavior than as any kind of attempt to run anyone down. And, in this area, I've actually never seen it used to bash anyone because his/her program was spiritual in an alternative way or even secular -- but then, as I've posted elsewhere, I really have seen hardly any of the "holier-than-thou-because-I-call-my-HP-God" behavior around here.
I am not an alcoholic (Al Anon) but I ended up "finding" the 12 Step programs because my partner was a supposedly recovering alcoholic who had been without a drink for almost 15 years when she descended into a severe dry-drunk relapse. Although she would have copped a major resentment against anyone who she heard using that term to describe her at the time (of course!), she now always uses it to describe herself in that period (and, let me tell you, it is MUCH nicer and far more gentle than listing in detail all of the behaviors that made her a dry-drunk!)....and, as far as I can tell, it is 100% accurate -- "an alcoholic who is not drinking but seriously working any kind of recovery and is actively engaged in many -- or all -- of the other negative behaviors associated with the disease of alcoholism and also, often, strongly involved in other addictive behaviors."
Also, there is a difference between taking other people's inventories and speaking the truth about their behavior. If I am talking about someone's behavior -- as above -- to make a necessary point or to convey information that it is important someone else has, or in working toward understanding a particular behavior and how and why it affects me as it does in order to come to acceptance of it and make an informed decision as to what I need to to to protect myself from it, that is not taking anyone's inventory.
Taking other people's inventory is when I am talking about the behavior of others for its drama, entertainment and/or gossip potential (otherwise known as "focusing on the problems instead of the solutions) and/or I am doing so to run other people down, puff myself up, and distract my attention from the things on which I really ought to be focusing.
freya