I, too, was the chosen one. My sister was the scapegoat. I still struggle with not being able to protect her, and even now I don't tell her the mean things my dad says about her. She is perfectly capable of handling it at this stage of life, but why be exposed to more of the same?
As the Golden Child, I was expected to be perfect, to offset her 'inadequacies'. I still struggle with the fact that I am human, and not perfect. I also still struggle with the completely unrealistic expectations placed upon me and the resentment that this treatment created in my sister towards me.
There are no winners in this scenario.
My husband is now the Golden Child. Since I didn't live up to someone else's idea of perfection, they transferred the status to him. Now I'm simply ignored. My husband laughs at the insanity of it - I might say something when we're all together and my father, without even realizing he's doing it, will say "that's a great idea son-in-law!" Hubby always replies with "Amazing how smart I can be without even moving my lips!" (since he said nothing and it was my idea).
My sister now admits that sometimes she's glad she was the scapegoat - she has nowhere further to fall. I was the Golden Child and was placed on a very high pedestal - the fallout from my refusal to do what I was told I *should* do was a rather long hard and heavy fall from grace. I, too, am glad to be back on the ground where there's no further to fall. Hubby experienced a fall from status not too long ago, and discovered that being the Golden Child is not all rainbows and unicorns also.