alcohol the drug killed Stacey dead and we lost one of our own to the monsters of addiction and its consumption of her flesh. and the picture history of Stacey's life path as i followed the story brings home the simple truth that none of us as addicts started out any different then any others started.
i am horrified. i am saddened. i am grateful. I will never really know why i am alive and Stacey is dead. oh yes, i know, i know what is popular to state and what not, i know the "facts". i meant in my heart of hearts in the wee hours of the morning with tears in my eyes wondering why me? with this or that problem and then feeling ashamed of myself when i think of my dead friends who no longer have any problems. i mean alot of things but i do not mean just the "facts"
i have been sober along time, and lived with addicts my whole live really, and i have been forced to unhappily accept the hard truth that too many addicts die dead as dead can be from addictions and that is just the way of it. i have been on these boards just under 30 days now. i know that as the months pass by, as time moves on, so also addicts will succeed, flourish, and some will fail, and die. some of our fellowship here today, this very day, will not be here later. i'm making friends here. i will lose friends here. all of us will not make it and i wish to hell that was a lie.
when Stacey lost her life a little of us went with her. and when we stay alive clean 'n sober 'n free then a little of Stacey comes with us. happy day then this day for all of us. rock on.
Robby