Hi Nici.
Wait a second, let me put on my body padding.
Okay.
For some people, 12 step groups are not the answer, or only part of the answer. I have no idea if this applies to your sig-o, but there simply are real emotional disorders that sometimes lead to or accompany alcoholism or drug use that the 12 steps can't fix. Bi-Polar. Some Stress disorders. Others. Unfortunately, just like the drinking itself, this is a part of his recovery that you probably can't affect. If he gets mad about milk, imagine how he might react if you say you think he needs a shrink. However, if he's working a program and is still fitful and deeply moody, one would hope he could see his way clear to getting the opinion of a medical doctor.
The whys and hows of his behavior belong to him, though. Your province is deciding if you can live with it.
Hugs,
Smoke