Originally Posted by
FormerDoormat 
Bingo. Why was it your responsibility to wake her up and drive her to the appointment? Unless she's physically incapable of doing so, your partner's health care is her responsibility.
You're so right. I think that's a big part of why I feel so depressed today. In theory, I understand this whole codependency thing, but so many times, when it comes down to the daily practice of it, I get caught up in the details. Today, I've caught myself rationalizing several times.
She definitely could have gotten herself to the appointment. She doesn't drive, stopped years ago when it became obvious that she didn't have enough control over her addiction to be sure she wouldn't drive drunk. At least that's one less worry.
In my rationalization, the reason I drove her and the reason I wanted her to wake up and not miss the appointment is because I'm anxious to get the answers to her tests. I think that if it turns out she has cirrhosis, it will be a catalyst for change one way or the other, and I'm in a hurry to just get on with it.
I spent my lunch hour looking up apartments for rent, wondering what's out there and what I can afford.