Im sorry your struggling with this one hon...
My ex use to send me messages, phone calls .... etc..... and it hurt deeply every single time he would pull me back into the mix... My sponsor at the time gave me some really inspiring thoughts. Change your phone number, block the e-mail address and if I was serious about my recovery go no contact.
That was SO hard.... the first month I felt I was cutting off my right arm, the second month it just ripped at my heart.... it took me over 6 months to get out of the fog. But I healed... slowly I healed. I use to read this poem over and over when I thought about reaching out to him again. I hope it helps you:
To lose you as a love was painful. To lose you as a friend is equally painful. But lost you are. The walls are soooo high, and that finely honed saber I had when I began storming your citadel isn't even sharp enough to slash my wrist. It is not that I don't care.... It's just that I can't let myself care any more.
The layers I have put around the pain of your going are thin... I walk softly through life, adding thickness each day... A thought or a feeling of you cracks the surface... A call to you shatters it all ..... And I spend that night in death...Spinning the first layer of life with the sunrise.
Sometimes we can choose the depth of pain we live in...