New to recovery
Hello everyone. My name is Clay and this is my story. I apologize for the length.
I've recently come to terms with the fact that I DO have a problem with alcohol. I don't drink everyday, but usually around 4 times a week and it's normally alone in my one bedroom apartment. If I'm not drinking, I'm smoking pot. I normally buy pot when I decide I want to quit drinking and I think the pot will help. It never does. I'll go a couple days and then get bored of getting stoned and start the whole cycle all over again.
I can't just drink a few drinks, I have to sit here and drink 14-15 beers. I can't tell you how many days I've awoken at my computer slunched over in my chair with a beer spilt between my legs. It sickens me.
When I do go out with friends, it usually ends up with them saying "remember when this happened" and I'm like, um, no.. I black out A LOT. Recentley I've found myself texting my ex girlfriends best friend and hitting on her while drunk and not remembering until I looked at my texts the next morning. Horrified, I wrote her and apologized and she said it was fine and that she knew I was drunk. Then the very next night, I did it again.
After a long 4 day binge, today I am counting as my first day sober. I'm shooting for 30 days at first. I hate to think that I could never go out and have A BEER with friends. I'd like to think that I can learn to drink responsibly and not get drunk. It's not attractive and I've never woken up a day after getting hammered and said "I'm really glad I did that". I got drunk last night and now have taken half a day off because I'm hung over. I have a tee time at 4:30pm that I so want to get out of, but I've already commited.
I'm happy to have found a community like this to help me stay straight. I would like to update my progress daily.
So.....this is day #1! Tomorrow is another day.