I was in sorta the same situation but my EX still worked and was Retired Military...I was the one with a small income but I did get a big child support.
I divorced him and he did not get visitation for over four years since he had abused our little daughter. Then he only got to see her or talk to her if she wanted to and all visits were supervised until she was 18.
At this time we both drank once or twice a week at the neighborhood bar. He did try to turn me in as neglecting our daughter going out partying but it wasn't so...I had proof of my once a week sitter and the group therapy I went to one night a week.
My daughter's casemanager from Children's Protective Service called me at work to tell me my EX was out in the waiting room and she wanted to know if what he was saying was true and I said no. I COULD NOT BELIEVE THIS!!!
Now this casemanager came to my house to see my daughter and how things were going...she called right before she came so it basically was on the spot checking all different days of the work week...usually after I was just home from work.
My daughter also was in play therapy counseling...recomended counselor by District Attorney...that had my husband arrested.
As far as the issue of your home...I had experience with this with my brother and our family home. We had papers drawn up that he could live in the home rent free if he kept up the property taxes, insurance, & utilities....he did not do any of this...I end up paying the taxes and some of the utilities to keep the home from going into foreclosure.
I finally hired a lawyer to help me evict my brother and the street type people he rented bedrooms to....turned out they were drug users and my brother was alcoholic and into drugs...I did not know about the drugs...he was 64 when all of this came to a head. I lived across state from him so didn't get over to see him often after our Dad died.
I hired a contractor to help me clean 50 years worth of trash and more trash + hold a yard sale to get rid of everything my brother didn't want. He was hiding out because there was a warrent for his arrest. What a mess...it had been three years since I had seen my brother and in that three years he managed to destroy the inside of the house.
All went well and beyond my belief....a lady & her daughter came to the house and wanted to know if it was for sale....and they bought it on the spot. It needed a new roof & painting inside but they wanted to do that...how lucky can a person be....They offered $76,000.00...$10,000.00 over the appraised value so I did a three year contract with them and my lawyer handled all the paperwork...done deal...get $800.00 a month and a balloon payment at the end of the three years!!!
So this is my experience with an active alcoholic/drug user that destroyed our family home in three years....It all was fixable but so sad to see.
When I divorced my husband I got to live in the family home until the divorce was final but my EX did not make the housepayments like he was court ordered to do so it was going into foreclosure so my lawyer advised me to sell it and so I did. We didn't have a lot of equity like you do so his share of the money went to the back house payments and taxes and I got my share free & clear and used part of it to pay my lawyer.
Hope all goes well for you.
kelsh