My now xAH has been out of work for 3 years now after being fired from the law firm he was with for 20+ years. His refusal to get a job, any job, was one of the many reasons I left him and divorced him. Our house has finally sold, for much less than market value but it will cover the loans on it. I may actually see a couple thousand equity. I don't care anymore. xAH will be homeless after closing. He doesn't have a job, has no money so won't be able to rent even a dump. He has been sponging off his 87 YO mother for the past year. I have no idea what he will do really but its not my problem. xAH could have fotten himself a job at 7-11 or something but that's beneath him ya know. He just cannot see himself as anything other than a victim.
I do not have nor do I feel any responsibility for xAH's soon to be uncomfortable circumstances. It is all the result of his choices and behaviors. I pray he will find his bottom and begin climbing out but that is up to him and God.
As for giving your AH money, my question is why would you give him anything? You are no obligated to give him money. He is capable of supporting himself. If its just to buy him off, I can understand that but personally I wouldn't do it unless I had to. I sure would keep the amount to the minimum I could get away with. I wonder why the attorney suggested you give him money?
Giving him money really is another form of enabling I think, would only delay his need to find a way to support himself. If you do it to make your divorce easier, that's one thing but make sure you think this thru before you do it.