As alkies and addicts I believe we sell ourselves short in the emotional development area. I know many people, of the non-alcoholic variety, who handle adversity and relationships in much the same manner as an alcoholic would, they just don’t drink.
Many people live their lives riddled with anger and resentment, filled with emotional distress and at times it seems to be a solution for them, bouncing from one tragedy to the next dilemma.
If I could manage my life in this way I probably would, but I can’t! I’m alcoholic, emotional turmoil is toxic for me. Anger and resentment left to fester in my brain will lead me to my demise, back to my false solution, back to the bottle.
I seem to drift in and out of emotional maturity. Just when I think I’m all grown up, I’ll behave in some childish manner and it will bother me greatly. Fortunately, I’ve found a solution in a power greater then myself. That power speaks to me through the people in my meetings and others who remind me, if I continue to let them; that it’s OK not to be perfect and it’s of utmost importance to allow others to not be perfect.
In this way I begin to work steps 4 through 9. I begin to deflate my ego and give God room to enter my world. This is not the only path to serenity but it’s the path I’ve found myself on.
Mine is a mountain of shortcomings, defects and self-centeredness and I can’t move mountains. But with the help of God and friends I can dig away, a little at a time, I can make progress.
Peace