Thank you both SO much.
dgillz....He will NOT turn himself in. I even talked to the police that stopped him, and 2 lawyers......if he turns himself in, he probably will only get 5 DAYS in jail.....at most he would probably get 90 days in jail, or even just house arrest. You are probably right, that I should turn him in. Believe me I've thought about it a million times!! His MOTHER has thought about it a million times too. Overall we think it would be the best thing for him, to get caught. But I can't bring myself to do it. I've even begged GOD to cause him to get caught, that's how bad this is!! Someday he'll get caught on his own I'm sure, just a matter of time.
Bernadette...your post verified what I was thinking. It's like he's TRYING to get caught!!!!! I've noticed this in other things he does too. I even mentioned it to him last night.......asked him 'Are you TRYING to get caught?????"......I don't think he answered, or if he did it was something stupid. Can anyone explain this?? He is SO self sabatoging, or is it GUILT, or what??? Does he hate himself so bad?? Why the heck would somebody be so afraid to turn himself in, yet do things that would make it WORSE if he got caught?? Before my car, he was driving a vehicle which was SO illegal, it wasn't funny!! Registered to some dead woman (he bought it legit but never changed the title), had illegal plates, inspection stickers, no insurance, and to top it off the thing was ready to fall apart any second.....lol. He must have 9 lives or something, because I honestly don't know how he never got caught in this thing!! Once he was even in a DUI checkpoint/traffic stop.......he managed to weasel OUT OF IT!!!
My minister/boss & I figured at least if he drove my car, it would be legal & insured, and could help him get a job, some self confidance, & start to rebuild SOMETHING in his life.......so if he got caught, it wouldn't be as hard on him.....BUT we never imagined he'd DRINK while driving it.....JUST CRAZY!!!! Believe me, if he EVER drinks while driving my car again, it'll be the last time he ever drives it.
I did give him the phone number for the City Rescue Mission, for a place to stay. But he never went there, and knows exactly how to work my sympathy & emotions. So I don't have the heart to stick to making him leave....plus he'll show up right when the grass needs cut again......lol....he's SLICK. He won't say anything.....just start working on the tractor, and cutting the grass....lol. WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD!!!
Right now turning him in myself, or throwing him out in the street isn't in MY comfort zone. I'm still hoping God has a plan for him. So short of those extreme measures, what else should I do? Keep on him to turn himself in or quit drinking (he calls me "controlling" or tells me I'm opening up a can of worms, or putting the "jinx" on him when I do that).
Or just let him go, hopefully give him enough rope to hang himself with? Gosh, this is way too HARD!! The info I got from the AA literature actually made me feel SORRY for him......he's SICK and hurting inside. I can't imagine living with all that pain inside. I DO believe he WANTS help, but is afraid or whatever. He's already at rock bottom........he has NO money, NO place to go, nothing to his name, and now health problems. In the past year he has lived in his (illegal) van, and most recently slept in the woods. How much lower can he go?? I'm not making excuses for him, I know he caused all this himself & tell him so.......but he has such a thick wall of denial up, it's crazy. How else can I help without enabling? :codiepolice