beegee,
After my first meeting I wasn't sure I was going back. I cried the whole time, I went to a meeting the next week and cried again. It is 3 years this month that I started and I thank my HP everyday for sending me there. If they gave you a phone list please use it, everyone knows how you are feeling, they felt/feel the same way.
Keep coming back here it is good to share wherever you can with people who UNDERSTAND the illness.
Sending hugs for you and your family