Went to my first meeting
Last night I drove to a meeting that wasn't to far from me and th place was packed. I believe they have another group there also but not sure who.
Well I have been in such a state with myself the last few days I was crying before they asked me anything. I hated to cry but I really couldn't hold it back. Anyway it was so nice to talk to others with the same problems but also sad.
I told them I had found this place and it was wonderful.
I can see the heartache in faces and how hard it is to just put your kids aside no matter how old they are. It is like were conditioned to be there for them no matter what. But in this case were only hurting them and prolonging their torment.
It really helped me a lot especially this week because I have been so torn about AD and anger and everything. Well it didn't really change anything really but I was able to vent and I felt better and not so guilty.
But then I think I have cried all day on and off asking why, why, why. [Up, down this is not good. Maybe going last night made it more real to me also? I don't know. I will be ok in a few days.:codiepolice