Exactly my point. My AH tried playing the "fun dad' role, too. And I could have gotten angry about it and told my children what he was doing. Instead, I remained impartial and let them come to their own conclusions. Heck, he still tries it now and then. But, you know what? Kids are not stupid. A couple months ago my now 15yo daughter was asking me for something and I said "how come you always come to me when you want something, why not your dad?" And she said, "Cuz, mom, you are the one I can always count on, Dad's kinda flaky." (I was lol inside my head
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It's hard, and sometimes I find myself on the pity pot since I provide structure, rules, food, clothing, and shelter for my children all the time, and he only does every other weekend. And sometimes my house is not all that fun, with chores to do, etc. Weekends at dad's are generally "play time." But, I know that having a loving, stable, home is more important that having a fun weekend.
L