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Old 07-07-2008, 11:00 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
kidsandmemake3
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 115
I hope you can detatch from the conspiracy theory thinking long enough to realize that regardless of whether there actually is or is not some kind of great big conpiracy picture going on ... it doesn't matter because no conspiracy can touch what goes on inside your head and in your day to day decision making process. The conspiracy thinking is something you most likely started believing because you heard it so much from your addict. Now that same irrational thinking is what you are using to manipulate your own personalself! Your mind is following the twisted pattern of thinking that your addict had laid out for you... bless your heart... I would encourage you to detatch emotionally from your situation for a moment and really seek clarity regarding the circumstances that you have surrounded yourself in.

You are not trapped by this person, nor are you a victim of circumstances or conspiracy. I would encourage you to stop focusing so externally... you have named lists of reasons why things are so bad for him and for you... bad hospitals, corrupt doctors, government corruption, the bad neighborhood, the army... you and your addict are not victims of any of this... you are simply two people who are going through tough times and are also dealing with difficult consequences that occured because of decisions you made along the way.

You could probably write a novel on outside forces you feel are working against you or your addict, but until you deal with your inner issues you will remain stuck and spiral deeper into the abyss of addiction. Please remember, addiction is a lethal disease that seeks to imprison, destroy and kill any life it touches... you must start using the tools at hand to combat this horrible disease... the 12 steps are a good start.

Bring it down, sister, and say the serenity prayer until you can mumble it in your sleep:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."

Start working the 12 steps and leave the excuses and justifications behind. You can do it.
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