I, too, felt alone and helpless when I was living with my alcoholic boyfriend. But the moment I ended the relationship, all that changed. Funny how living alone is far less lonely than trying to have a relationship with an addict.
As newbies to this forum or Alanon, I think most of us felt like we didn't fit in initially. I think it's natural to feel like the odd man out when you're a new member of an established group. The key for me was to keep my negative feelings about not fitting in in check so I could reap the benefits that SR and Alanon had to offer me.
Find a group in your area and stick with it for at least six meetings. Those feelings of discomfort will diminish soon.