Dunerkat,
Welcome to SR. I found this site about 2 weeks ago and swear it saved my sanity.
As a full blown codie (co-dependent) I've got the guilt, shame and low self-esteem MASTERED...but find great inspir(ion and support in these posts. The responses you've received thus far are fantastic....not sure I can add anything but wanted to say hello and give you a (((big hug)))!!!
We need to achieve "emotional sobriety" and work it parallel, if not ahead of the addict for whom we have given too much of ourselves to....its time to reclaim what is rightfully ours....our own life.
Blessings,
Rivka