At 15 I was severely raped. I have to live with that. From the rape I found out I'd become pregenet, well at 15 I felt no way ready to have a child, so I had an abortion. Plus I was pyhsically & mentally abused by my dad, and grandparents. I still suffer greatly from Panic attacks & Low Self Essteem. It's hard to forget about sometimes. In fact I sat down & wrote a poem:
"November Sky"
Many years ago
On a cold November Day
My life was changed forever
The day was like any other
Another day at school
Another day of pain
As the day went by
I felt overwhelmed
By the day
I just wanted to go home
To get through the day
Little did I know my day had just begun
The bus ride home gave me some peace
A quiet time to reflect
But my peace was ready to be shattered
As I stepped off the bus
I saw no one around
So I made my way home
As I made my way down the hill
I didn't hear a thing
I didn't see a soul
But suddenly my life was shaken
As he grabbed me from behind
I felt myself falling hard to the ground
I felt my breath leave me
I couldn't find my voice
All I could feel was fear
I tried to block it out
To make myself empty inside
My thoughts held me prisoner
When the act was over
I was silent as a leaf blowing in the wind
I never saw the face of the shadow
As I sat shakeing against
That November sky
My voice came back
As I started to cry
It started to rain
That November sky cried with me
So everyday in November
I look to the sky
And think about the day we both cried
My life will always be filled with fear
And with pain
And that dark November Sky
(c) Crystal Goens Nov 11 2003