Hi TTOSBT
When I first joined here I posted in the Alcoholism forum by accident, even though I was in the wrong place the replies I received did help me a lot. I was struggling to understand why by abf behaved the way he did and I did start to look at things on the other side of the fence so to speak.
The posters who responded to my own pleas opened my eyes to say the least, I was all about helping him, changing him, saving him and they told me - as the posters do in the relationship forum - that he will do as he does until he learns he wants to change. I also read some heartbreaking posts from members who had lost an awful lot before they hit their "bottom".
Suffice to say my relationship ended, but a lot of what I read sticks with me. I'd love for you to continue posting here.