Hi TTOSBT, welcome to SR, I've read quite a few of your posts since you joined and I'm grateful for the ES&H you've shared within our recovery community.
I'm one of those pesky alcoholics who sticks his nose into the Friends And Family forums, I try to contribute when I have something useful to share. In return I've been treated with kindness and understanding, the good folks here in F&F have opened my eyes to the other side of this disease.
To answer your question about your husband: You're still very early in sobriety, please be patient and allow time and your efforts in recovery to mend and slowly heal the wounds. Although I wasn't able to keep my marriage together by achieving sobriety, I know that it'll take a long time to clean up the wreckage that I created in 11 years of marriage. Some days it's two steps forward and three steps back, but as long as I stay focused on the program there will always be some form of progress.
Drinking was definitely "all about me", and in an ironic way so is recovery (except that part of the program is working with and helping others). Yes, I stay focused on my recovery and being the best father to my children that I'm capable of being. As long as I'm working on that, then I can be useful to others. What I've found is that some people truly do want what we all have in recovery, peace and serenity, acceptance and awareness, the wonder of the journey. Call it what you want. I've been sober for slightly longer than three years, divorced for slightly less than that. Some days my ex is friendly, other days the resentments resurface. I've made my amends, it's not up to me now to bring forgiveness and happiness to her life.
Recovery for me is a lifetime process. After a year in AA I went to several Al-Anon meetings in an effort to understand the wreckage I created, then a little over a year ago I started going to CoDA meetings and learned that my issues started long before I picked up my first drink. Reading posts in the F&F forums on SR is another great way that I've expanded my program of recovery. I'm rambling, but I guess what I'm trying to share is that the more we learn from each other the better, there's no such thing as understanding too much about our addictions.
Best wishes to you, I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Scott