Hey there TTOSBT,
I'm glad you are posting here! I agree with the others that it is beneficial for all of us to have those in recovery posting here too. We do actually have quite alot of people post here who are in recovery. I always find their posts refreshing!
To me we are all working our steps, for me my addiction is people with an addiction!!! i'm a codependant so I basically love anyone who needs me, kind of leads me into dysfunctional relationships!
Congrats by the way for your ~2 months - yey you!!
Originally Posted by
TTOSBT 
I guess my question is:
I know that he probably has a lot of feelings bottled up. I have suggested Alanon but he is just not a joiner. I know that he is probably angry, etc. Should I encourage him to talk or just focus on me and my recovery and being the best wife and mother I can be today and let him bring things up as needed?
I think you've got it right - concentrate on your recovery. If your A wants to talk about issues in your marriage then they can be discussed as and when they arise.
Recovery is for both of you, and I would keep suggesting al-anon for him as an outlet. He may decide to go eventually. Also you could tell him about SR?
Although he has all this anger inside him, don't think you need to spend your ''whole life'' making up for things. In order for your relationship to move forward there needs to be forgiveness. Guilt is a nasty emotion that eats away from the inside out.
Give your heartfelt apology and then explain to him that this is why you are working the steps, to enable yourself to handle things better so that in the future you can be a healthy person. You cannot go back in time and make amends!
Good luck to you!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :ghug