Sometimes I have to let go of expectations in order to feel healthy in a relationship with a nonaddict too. It stinks that you may have to let go of the idea that your mom and you can have a close relationship while she is busy fixing your sister, but perhaps that may help to maintain some relationship. I'm not sure...I think only you can know what helps you not to hurt so much. I'm sorry Lynette had to expereince this pain too, but glad that she is here to share her experience with you.
Sending a few more hugs from another mom.