she certainly has codependant traits. she wanted to "fix" him for years. but now that he is entering the last stage of his problem she knows she has to get out. She has no problem choosing between me and him , He is an abusive inadequate man who has called her everything under the sun. Her eldest son is not confused. I take him to soccer games and have been on holiday with him he is a lovely lad and it is heartbreaking that he cannot even bring himself to look at his AH never mind speak to him. Our plan is to be together and let her exAH be left alone to shout at he walls alone and probably stagger o an early grave.