Alcoholism is a progressive disease. I started drinking when I was a teen. The light switch seemed to go off and the love affair began. It wasn't until later in life when the real problems began. When I drank, I drank to get drunk and just didn't have the ability to stop. I never managed to moderate. Many of us can't. The only way to set myself free from the burden was to abstain entirely. Good luck and kudos for willing to explore the idea that you may have a problem. I hope you don't do what I did and waste 20+ years trying to figure it out.