The best advice that I received when I was where you are is to work the program that I wished that he would. I went to meetings, got a sponsor, read the books, prayed, worked the steps. It works because I worked it. I realized that there is nothing that I can do about him and his choices. NOTHING. All I can do is live my life and discover what I can and can't live with....If my addict didn't like his meetings then he needed to find other ones. He had the same complaints about his NA meetings and then switched to AA. But AA talked about staying away from a drink and that's not really his problem. Blah blah blah. I guess that I'm saying that it is always something until the desire to change comes from within them. There are ways to make meetings work for you but the first key is willingness.
As best as you can, take the focus off of him and put it on you. I promise, it is the only through the maze. It's hard but not doing it is harder...that I know for sure.
Keep posting and roll up your sleeves - not to help him but to help you!