DesertEyes

Yeah, that makes it so much harder.

What works for me is to not do either one of those. Giving it back and blocking requires standing up to the attacker and going toe-to-toe with them. What I learned to do is to _first_ work on building _my_ self-esteem. Doing that allows me to recognize that the attack are _not_ valid.

My problem was that deep inside I believed the attacks were _true_. That's whey the hurt so much. When I helped that "child within" develop self-esteem he started to recocgnize that the attacks were _not_ valid. That's when I stopped accepting the guilt and the shame that wasn't mine to begin with. Once I quit accepting that, there was nothing to give back or block.

It took me awhile. I learned that my parents were not "parents" that spoke the truth. As long as I held myself in their debt for being "parents" I kepy myself enslaved to their insanity. Once I saw them for what they were; sad drunks who took advantage of children, I was able to step back and quit giving them power over me.

There _are_ people in this world who deserve my respect, and my love. My parents were _not_ such people.

Mike (((((( hugs ))))))