It is me too Mike and I haven't survived it yet because it's still happening.
I see now that what I'm carrying doesn't really belong to me. I'm just not quite sure how to give it back or block the attacks. I'm not able to walk away from it right now due to my elderly mother so it's really intense and I can hardly hold it. The emotional pain from the rejection and the heavy shame is a very heavy load to carry. Being assertive doesn't work because then I am shamed for being irrational or too sensitive. It's me against many.