(((Rozied)))
Hugs to you....I think you're kind of in the same situation that I am fighting to rid myself of, trying to figure out the difference between Codependency and being a mother.
This mother stuff works pretty well, until they can do things on their own...like at age 8!
I make the difference myself by asking, is this something my AS can do on his own? Does this make me uncomfortable to do this, whatever, for him?
If the answers are YES, it may be your H.P. trying to tell you something.
I still slip on occasion, but I am no longer, a bank, a messenger, a Laundromat owner, or a life coach (ha!) life coach, that one slays me...LOL
Also, I do not agree with that "intervention" suggestion of lying to him, they just want the ratings, and it's a terrible premise to build recovery on, IMHO.
Hugs,