Everyone's posts are wonderful.
How about you sit down and you make a list of things that YOU want out of life. Then you circle the things on the list that YOU can make happen. Then you write down the steps that YOU are going to take to make those things happen.
This isn't about your husband. This is about you and how you want to live. It really doesn't matter what he says or does. He's happy with the way things are and he will continue doing what he wants. So decide what you want. And take steps to get there. If living a chaotic life with someone you can't trust isn't what you had in mind, well, you don't have to be stuck there unless you choose to be.