Update
I decided not to lie to myself. Ater talking with my doctor, I realized that Zyprexa is something I need both for my mental health and my sobriety. For my mental Health because I begin to bug out at night without it. Sleeping is something I dread, and the anxiety over finishing one day and starting a new one is quite high. I can't really explain what it is, but basically, I can't stand ending a day, I never feel like I've done enough that I can be happy with. I feel like I live life, but that I'm rarely happy during the days. And I cannot stand to live another day of the same nonsense. Zyprexa calms me down, so it takes away these thoughts and allows me to enjoy some relaxation before I sleep. Also, i take 2.5 mg in the morning whenever needed to give me soem extar peice of mind.
It helps with my sobriety because other meds like Trazadone and Seroquel go great with DXM, Alcohol, and opiates (I always thought) so they are triggers. Plus Seroquel wasn't as effective as Zyprexa to be honest.
In conclusion
I'm gonna have top deal with the weight gain because I need Zyprexa. I'm not strong enough to get off it yet.
It's hard, but I'm getting the hang of dieting. I've even seen a dietician.