Prodigal: Hes not mean. hes said a few mean things, he apologizes and its certainly not on a regular basis. The good of this guy BY FAR out weighs the bad. hes got his problems for sure - don't we all - but hes far far from "one of the meanest son-of-a-guns to come down the pike" - OMG that actually made me laugh!!! (he lies on the floor with my kittens, he brings me coffee in bed, he covers me in kisses every morning, he builds me shelves and tables as presesnts, he fills my tank with gas every week, he takes me to romantic dinners, he cleans my kitchen when im tired, he rubs my feet, i could go on and on) I've typed about our recent problems here and my concerns but I could fill another 3 pages with all the sweet loving things he does for me all the time. I am not an idiot, I know better than to put up with mistreatment which is why i let him leave the other night. He had time to think and realized he was wrong and made it very clear, and he sincelerly apologized. He does not manipulate me - he has tried but it didn't work. If I had fallen for his manipulation we'd be renting a place together - and we're not. I am not that confused in my head - its all upsetting and I am trying to work though it but I am not confused - I see pretty clearly what I've got to deal with. I know things could quite possible change for the worse. Theres no guarantee it will work, but there's also no guarantee he is going to start drinking again and become "one of the meanest son-of-a-guns to come down the pike" (LOL!!!) People DO change and I dont believe every alcoholic is doomed to be a miserable POS for their entire life. I've been through ONE and ONLY ONE (No Pattern Here) abusive realtionship - now THAT guy was mean - and I went through so much therapy afterward, read so many books and took a semester of college courses on violent men and psychology and all that in preparation to become a domestic violence counselor (which I didnt do). My eyes are wide open, and as I said before - I am fully aware of what I've got ahead of me. But I believe in giving people chances. Why shouldn't this guy have a shot at being a good father? "Oh you're an alcoholic but you've been clean for 2+ years?? Well uh... ok I think you're far too damaged for me so bye." <----Thats Not Me. I have NO history of abuse (aside from the one year relationship I mentioned earlier) or substance abuse issues, i have a loving supportive family (so does he) and I am far from clueless or weak or (too) confused. But thanks for your input.