Originally Posted by
Barbara52 
Do you want to be in a relationship with a man who is likely to want to cut you off from your friends and family? Do you want to be involved with a man who will teach your child that controlling a partner/wife/other adult is the right sort of relationship dynamic? Do you wnat to have the manipulations increase until you start doubting yourself and your thoughts?
Any effort I could make to state this better would be a waste of time -- Barbara is reading the crystal ball here.
Your instincts are correct, blue. This is SERIOUSLY not a person you want to be considering living with yet...he wants to "take care of you" but only on his terms and with a hefty helping of guilt, manipulation, anger, and controlling behavior. Oh my gosh have I been there and done that. Add to that the substantial chance that all alcoholics have of relapsing, and his general treatment of you AND lack of relationship skills, and you've got a recipe for a terrible future.
It sounds like you don't really have any real need to move in with him -- you're better off than he is anyway. You're considering this because HE wants to, because you're "supposed" to on some cosmic level. How about this: You continue to live where you live, which sounds like a nice place for you & the baby. He can contribute to the child's expenses, and be part of the child's life & yours just as long as his behavior is acceptable to you. If after a period of time (months/years) he shows that he's worthy of more of a commitment from you, then you can revisit it, but at this point getting any closer to him sounds like a horrible mistake.
Just my opinion, though. Your mileage may vary....