"The thing is - I have to give him credit for wanting to be part of this. taking care of me and the baby is very important to him - he wants to provide and he wants me to let him do what he can...Maybe I'm just way too independent, but I've taken very good care of myself for a long time and I trust my instincts - they've never steered me wrong. He has spent the majority of his life making very very poor decisions.... and now hes accusing me of that."
IMO, you don't have to give him credit just 'cos he says that he wants to be part of this...actions speak louder than words and his behaviour doesn't match his statement. You may also want to question his motives. You have a lot more (due to your good decision making) than he does (due to his bad decision making). Maybe, he's seeing you as a way to get hold of more than what he's got and the baby as a way to control you and keep access to you and your assetts.
As a mom, I have to agree with the comments that becoming a parent is very demanding and challenging (although utterly joyful too) and a major adjustment. The way that he is behaving now suggests that he will add to the demands and challeges, not help with them. If you have a good friend or 2 or close family members, you might want to reach out to them to make sure that there are others who can be with you as you go through these first steps (pregnancy, birth, infant, etc).
Also, don't let his irrational behaviour cause you to question your judgement or decisions (like wondering if you are way too independent). That's what As do, they constantly say and do things that leave us wondering if we are looney.
Lastly, decide what your boundaries are, set them and stick with them. You can't tell him what to do, but you can decide what is right for you and your baby (and don't use his opinion as a barometer for this - check in with people you trust and have known longer or others like the folks here).
Take care of yourself and your baby. You really are at the beginning of a wonderful adventure with him/her.